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Once, I wrote no less than two pages based on a girl’s heading to her profile. I thought I was making conversation but all I was making was a girl scared. Give anything longer than three sentences a good, hard look before sending.

There are several reasons I’m for short first emails.

On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well: is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. After all, the way you choose to start your initial message to someone is the “first impression of your first impression.” The results surprised us: perform better, bucking the general “be literate” rule.

In fact, it’s smarter to use no traditional salutation at all (which earns you the reply rate of 27%) and just dive into whatever you have to say than to start with all did very well.

does help a person get noticed (reply rate 56%), but maybe that shouldn’t be a surprise on a site that is itself named for a member of the Classical pantheon.

We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on our dating site, Ok Cupid.

Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant.

This discussion is primarily for sites such as where you write the online dating first message yourself (see more on how works if you’re not familiar with what I’m referring to).

This advice may still be helpful for sites such as e Harmony or Chemistry.com, however these services guide the communication and there is less “emailing” early on.

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