Just like there is a profile for the borderline personality type, there is also a profile for the kind of man that they often choose to partner with.The type of personality that so often gets caught up in a relationship with a woman with traits of BPD is what we might call a “nice guy” type.This ability holds a special attraction for women with traits of BPD. She has an overriding fear of relationship betrayal.Most people imagine that this kind of fear centers around the more obvious forms of betrayal such as infidelity or relationship abandonment.Minor betrayals are by no means deal-breakers, but they can definitely ruffle our feathers and hurt our feelings.
One of them was entitled “The Tao of Dating: The Modern Woman’s Guide to Loving and Being Loved.” Some things have changed to modern romance since I first published book (ebook and print).
The romantic partner of the woman with traits of BPD will soon find that although she demands complete adherence to the relationship rules from him, she is incapable of holding up her own end of the bargain.
Many nice-guy types are willing to accept these flaws.
When we don’t, our relationship partners experience our selfish actions as a mild form of betrayal of our relationship agreement.
These minor betrayals over agreements to make each other feel safe in the relationship and to keep things fair for both people are at the heart of most of our everyday arguments.